She tells me in self-doubting words that he offered to walk her to her room. She was flustered, pretended to misunderstand, pointed vaguely toward her room, and said she just needed some chapstick. Done. The encounter was over. Was it weird? If not, why was her stomach in a little knot?
I advise, “Trust your gut. If your gut thinks he meant something, then he probably did.” But so what, even if he meant something? Your behavior said no. Message sent, message received. Done.
But. But. But.
Issues of power differential—-He was the professional in charge of the trip. Shouldn’t he stay in his professional position and not be hitting on guests? Could he be in trouble for that? Could he be fired? How would it affect his treatment of her afterwards?
Moral issues— Isn’t he married? And he knows SHE is married? Does that even matter to anyone any more? There are indications his marriage is not great. He is off hiking for days, gone from the home, living his adolescent fantasy. No kids. Wife is rich and a corporate superstar, he is a glorified surf bum. Are things great at home?
Legal issue— Was it harassment? No. No quid pro quo here. No misuse of power. Just a veiled offer. Cloaked enough to ease awkwardness on either side.
Logistical issues— He couldn’t try on the hike. Couldn’t try at Phantom Ranch in the dormitory with Joe sleeping five feet away—ha! Couldn’t try at the front end of the trip and potentially upset the dynamics. The only time to try is in the flush of accomplishment, in the “Las Vegas, stays-here” hotel on the South Rim.
Pragmatic guy issues— why not try? Do it gracefully, might get lucky. If she says no, plausible deniability. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Female self-recrimination issues— Did I encourage him when I asked about the geological layers? When I walked right behind him on the trail to discuss Fitbit vs. Applewatch? When I thought we were two adults discussing altitude and stairclimbers, did I seem to be flirting?
What is the bottom line here? Was there harm done? No. Done.